Hi! I’m currently taking time off from regular posting after having a baby this summer, but want to check in with a little update.
Sweet readers, I’m having a tough time right now.
Whether you’re (1) evacuating your home or have family/friends on the west coast during these devastating wildfires, (2) trying to find normalcy in a very not normal world, and/or (3) adjusting to children learning at home or back in school during this pandemic, this season of life feels very different. It certainly feels different for me. We welcomed our beautiful baby girl this past summer and are absolutely in love with her. From her big curious eyes down to her tiny little toes, she is honestly the sweetest. She’s such an easy baby, but maybe that’s because we have the experience under our belts. Our older daughter just loves her and wants to be around her all the time. We’re so blessed to have our health, home, and happy daughters.
My heart is just so full.
However, at the very same time, a piece of my heart feels like it’s missing.
Our beloved dog, Jude, passed away last month. Jude was diagnosed with cancer in August 2019 and fought it for a year. As pet owners know, pets are a very big part of the family. And Jude? He was my shadow. My sidekick. A true companion in every sense of the word. An irreplaceable part of this family. Wherever I was, he was. If dogs have souls, Jude has one of the biggest. Not only because he was enormous at 120 lbs, he just had a very big heart. He was the kind of dog who could sense how you were feeling. Laid with you while you were sick, sat with you while you cried, smiled at you (seriously!) when you were happy. For 12 beautiful years, Jude was our constant through it all: new homes, new jobs, cookbooks, our wedding, birthdays, book tour, miscarriage, pregnancies, babies, and all the other moments in between.
For anyone who thrives on routine, the loss of such a prominent part of your life feels impossible. Additionally, the transition from 1 to 2 children certainly has its difficulties. Pair all of this with postpartum recovery, postpartum emotions, sleepless newborn nights, and the isolation felt during this world pandemic and your emotional and mental stress feel like a mountain weighing on top of you. My husband, always looking on the bright side, reminds me of the silver linings we have. We’re so thankful our daughter got to meet Jude and that we even have a few pictures of him sitting beside her bassinet. And having activities and gatherings cancelled this summer has encouraged us to slow down. Maybe it’s the same for you too? We’re enjoying more time outdoors and savoring the present. And one last silver lining: While Franklin, our other dog, misses his big buddy, he’s certainly loving all the extra attention. He deserves it.
I mentioned this on social media and want to repeat it here. I know it might seem unseemly to grieve the loss of a dog when so many are losing their lives in the chaos of our world right now. But loss is loss and I’m feeling this one really hard. I recently experienced one of my best days and one of my worst. It’s been an absolute roller coaster of emotions and I’m still trying to work through it all.
I miss him so much. Jude was the happiest dog until those final few days.
I planned to post more recipes during my postpartum time off, but haven’t had the chance to clear my head and publish them all. I promise I’m trying my best to bring you fresh new recipes that I prepped while I was pregnant. Thank you for your patience with me and understanding that I need this time to be with my family.
On a brighter note, it’s Noelle’s 3rd birthday next week! I can’t believe my little girl is turning 3. No big parties this year, but we’re going to make the day as special as we can. She loves the Trolls World Tour movie and I plan to make her a special Queen Poppy cake. I’m terrible with fondant, so I’m thinking vanilla cake, rainbow frosting decoration, and a Trolls cake topper. Have you ever made a Trolls themed birthday cake before? I’m open to ideas!
We took a little vacation to Deep Creek Lake last week. It was a quiet and relaxing family getaway in one of our favorite spots. We just needed a change of scenery. If I’m being honest, sitting on the back deck with coffee and a view was all the medicine we needed. It was after Labor Day, so the lake wasn’t crowded. We lucked out with weather.
‘Tis the season for quick bread. We brought a loaf of the September Sally’s Baking Challenge recipe to the lake with us: cinnamon swirl quick bread. (There have been hundreds of participants so far this month!) This time I mixed 1 cup of chopped and peeled apples into the cinnamon sugar swirl mixture before layering it in. Same bake time. It tasted unbelievable– sort of like last week’s apple cinnamon babka but without a yeasted dough. I highly recommend it.
I was going to wait until the official start of fall, but couldn’t resist. Here’s my first loaf of pumpkin bread this season. I actually prefer it plain without the chocolate chips. I used whole wheat flour in this loaf and topped it with coarse sugar before baking. Same bake time. Always so moist and flavorful.
I want to lead by example not only for my daughters, but for my readers and followers too. In my last coffee break post, I shared my commitment to help break the unjust cycle of racism in our world and country. I hope we each yearn for a more loving and inclusive world and sometimes it’s hard to understand that in order for that to happen, we have to be the change… right now. Over the past couple months, I’ve thought a lot about the privilege I have simply because of the color of my skin. I found this article on Allure.com and while the entire piece is a great resource, the section titled “Reflect on all the ways you benefit from privilege” has been enlightening. (It links to a few more pieces and essays too.) I shared this on my Instagram account, but I joined Rachel Cargle’s eye-opening Do The Work course. It’s a free email course that provides comprehensive and concrete ways for being anti-racist. The emails also include links to articles, other resources, and videos. There is also The Conscious Kid organization. By joining, you have access to many resources for how to teach children (of any age) about anti-racism.
I’m still learning and growing in my own advocacy, but I hope to keep the momentum going that was seen earlier this summer. Racism has deep roots and as we continue to see it in the news every single day, it will not go away without the work.
Have you joined the sourdough bandwagon?
I just picked up a copy of New World Sourdough by Bryan Ford. I’m excited to finally learn more about from-scratch sourdough. I’ve always been intimidated by the entire process because the wealth of information online is overwhelming. However his book and comprehensive guide to sourdough (with FAQs) breaks things down into understandable steps. Super helpful if you’re a beginner like I am.
I also got Whole Grain Sourdough at Home. I haven’t had the chance to dive into it yet, but this book covers how to tackle sourdough using whole wheat flour and ancient grains. Recipes seem very easy to follow too.
I think that’s about it for now. Let’s end this post on a positive note though. No matter what we’re facing in this moment: loss, heartache, exhaustion, injustice, natural disaster, anxiety, change, and anything in between, I know that food can be healing. Baking has always lifted my spirits whether that’s receiving something homemade from a loved one, baking to ease my mind, or baking for someone who needs cheering up. It’s so much more than something sweet, it’s comforting for the mind and soul. Need proof? Last year I wrote a post called What Baking Means to You. The comments are beautiful.
Thank you for being here. xo
Sally, I’m so sorry for your loss. This year has been so unreal. Congratulations on your beautiful girl. A few years back I made a troll cake for my niece, I assembled cupcakes for the hair and only used some fondant for face pieces. I’ll post a pic on the site. Take care!
Dogs absolutely have souls, and your sweet Jude is one of the many reasons I know that to be a fact. I remember my childhood dog passing away many many years ago like it was yesterday. There’s still a part of my heart that stings thinking about it. While our world is full of tragedy, it doesn’t take away from your own heartache. I’ve been with you since long before the first cookbook and Jude was always a constant in your work. Please, please do not stress over getting recipes and work out and done right now – you have so much on your plate and those of us that know you would so much rather see you prioritizing yourself right now. Having two littles is still a huge learning curve for me nearly a year later, but if I can give just one little piece of advice it would be this: when you’re having a hard day or feeling like you’re not enough, just take a minute to look at your girls and how they look back at you. That love you see in their faces will remind you that you’re doing something right. Sending you a big hug, Sally. You’re doing great.
Sally,
I cried when I read your post. Losing animals feels brutal. I have had several labs that I have had to put to sleep. Yes, we all understand that they are animals, and people are losing lives-but we can’t minimize the grief we feel when losing a pet. They are innocent and trusting, and our beautiful companions. I will pray for you that your grief subsides each day. Jude is in good hands, and you will meet again some day. Thank you for all you do-you feel like a friend to me.
So sorry for your loss. We’ve been there a few times, remember all the love he gave you. It will get you through. Prayers for your family.
Such a heartfelt and emotional letter.
First if all thank you for sharing, your words touched my heart.
I’ve had two amazing dogs that are no longer with me and I miss them and mourned them as my family.
I have a 14yr old mini poodle who is my life. Her health is up and down and I’m giving her love and attention.
Your babies are so beautiful and your positivity will help you.
Again, thank you for opening your heart and sharing.
I hope all the love you feel from us (your followers) helps. ❤️
I always enjoy your posts Sally and this one is no different. I’ll begin by saying how sorry I am for your loss of Jude. I can only imagine how difficult this was/is for you and your family. Our dog, will be 12 in November and he is our first dog. Dogs can be such a wonderful source of joy, comfort and companionship and to have that gone would feel like such a missing piece. We always notice that when he’s at daycare or on a walk with a family member – it is so odd not to be greeted by him at the door. It definitely takes time to heal…
On another note your new baby, Elise is beautiful! It sounds like you are making the most of your time at home with her and slowing down can be a good thing.
Thank you also for passing along all of the information in relation to the injustice going on in our world and ways/resources we can utilize to help in some small way.
As far as not posting new content I don’t think you have anything to worry about. You have an arsenal of recipes and tutorials to keep us bakers plenty busy and I’m always on your site looking for new ways to tackle old recipes.
In the meantime, take care of you and your family. We’ll all still be here …be safe and be well!
Dear Sally,
Sorry about the loss of your dog, Jude. It is very painful for a long time when you lose a beloved pet, but you will always have those fond, loving memories.
Your darling girls are such a blessing to love and enjoy. Treasure all those moments because they grow up so very fast!
I enjoy your posts and have made many of your recipes. I plan to make your pumpkin bread this morning.
God bless you and your family!
All my best,
Pat Rule
Sally, God bless you & your beautiful family. Such a joy to see your babies loving on each other. My condolences for the loss of your faithful companion, Jude.
Hi Sally! I’m so sorry for the loss of your sweet dog Jude, and so happy for you on the birth of your beautiful daughter. Your coffee breaks are so thoughtful and sweet, and you make a difference in the lives of so many with your unbelievable baking and cooking skills. Thanks for sharing your heart and recipes with us ❤️
I am so very sorry for the loss of Jude. I know what it is like for a beloved four legged kid to have your heart.
Congratulations on your growing, beautiful family. And my sincerest condolences on losing sweet Jude. Life can be wonderful and heartbreaking at the same time. Take all the time you need- you’ve given us plenty to work through! Next up for me, your maple cookies! Xoxo
My heartfelt thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficult time. It is so generous of you to take your precious time to write this detailed explanation of your life this past summer. You never need to apologize for not posting new recipes – thanks to your previous posts, we have many delicious and well-tested recipes to choose from. Enjoy this special time with your family and know that your blog is appreciated for its insight and treasures.
Dear Sally, Congratulations on your little Elise! You have a beautiful family! I’m so sorry for your loss of Jude. I’m such an animal lover and their passing is so devastating! They are family forever. Now that fall is in the air, it’s time for pumpkin AND your pumpkin bread recipe is the best! Lots of yummy compliments!
Hi Sally, your coffee breaks always warm my heart. I rejoyed when your Rainbow girl was born healthy! Cried when I saw the post about Jude. It feels weird sometimes feeling so connected to people when you really don’t know them other than a blog, or a baking community… But I do. This coffee break had me very emotional. I am celebrating the birth of my Rainbow Grandson Vincent not even 1 year after the death of his sister Vanessa who passed in the womb and was stillborn at 38 weeks. This in itself has been a very emotional roller coaster. 5 months later this pandemic hits and a new stress level as an essential worker rears its head! I hear what is going on in our world, but I can’t watch the news anymore. My peace is in my 1 baking day (which I haven’t had because of the heat!) and my Sat mornings watching my hummingbirds. I worry for our children, my grandchildren having to live in such a world. All we can do is teach them! I am excited to see Noelle’s birthday cake! I can’t believe she is turning 3 either!! Elise is absolutely beautiful. Give those babies extra love from this Nana!! Many blessings wished for you and your family. Lets get this fall season started!
Thinking of you, dear Sally! You and your good work have brought so much joy to our lives, and I’m wishing you peace and joy in yours. My condolences on dear Jude.
Your picture with your babies makes my heart smile.
Your loss of Jude is heartbreaking. I understand fully. For the longest time, Boo and Sammy were my daughter and son.
Never feel that you need to minimize your loss to acknowledge another’s. We each feel, love, and mourn in our own way. You and your beautiful family will continue to be in our prayers.
Thank you for making the world a little better with every e-mail that you send out.
God bless.
Sorry for your loss… Sending you hugs and love!
Your babies are absolutely beautiful.
Oh Sally! Emotions on top of emotions on top of emotions!
I’m so sorry to hear about your dog – that’s a much harder loss than some give credit.
Give yourself the grace you would give others. Take as much time as you need to adjust to post-pregnancy, new baby, multiple children new life. Yes, new babies are a blessing and so sweet, but there is a lot of hard as well. It won’t always be hard.
Praying for you & your family
Cheryl
Losing a dog is just as hard as losing a person. People that don’t have animals don’t really understand that, or how much we love them. We are on our 4th dog now, but my heart still breaks for the first to go many, many years ago. Thank you for admitting how you feel, and I wish you solace in the coming months.
I’m so terribly sorry for your loss. Dogs are family and losing family is always wrenching. It seems we are living in an age of loss, of so many things including life, which just intensifies everything. Praying for some easing of your pain
Sally, it is definitely NOT unseemly to miss your beloved doggy friend…having gone through similar losses I totally “get it”. Not to mention all the other factors you are dealing with now. Your new little one is so precious and must warm your hearts…
take time and rest…the world is what it is, and these moments with your new loved one
are so special…;)))
hugs Julierose
Hi Sally, so sorry for the loss of your beloved Jude. This time in life is so emotionally multi leveled for everyone! This Friday starts the Jewish New Year Rosh Hashanah, a chance to start over and do better from the year before. Our tradition is to have apples dipped in honey for a sweet New Year, and foods that have either. I’m making your Brown Butter Apple Blondies for dessert! Just know, that you bring so much sweetness to so many of us who follow you. I keep reminding myself that this too shall pass ( meaning this complicated time), it’s a BIG lesson in patience, but while we’re waiting, we can enjoy all sweet things that are meaningful to each of us.
I am so sorry about Jude. I have followed your posts for many years and loved all the pictures you have shared. You are a beautiful person with a beautiful family, and I wish you nothing but peace and happiness.
It’s hard to wrap our heads around all that we are experiencing, mentally and physically. Please continue to give yourself grace; your apology for not posting more is completely accepted.♥️ Your hard work to build a community of bakers means that we continue to support each other even while you need to step away. A co-worker recently shared an analogy with me that resonates: we’re all in this storm together but are in different boats. Some of those boats have more holes to plug than others.
I wish you and your family continued health and healing.♥️
As an avid dog lover myself I totally get it…I have no words only my sincere condolences on losing Jude. I firmly believe we will see our furbabies again! All dogs go to Heaven…!! Take care of yourself, and your babies, take it from me , it goes so fast! Luv ya Sally…
Dearest Sally – thank you for such an honest post. I have loved and lost 7 dogs in my long (it’s all relative ) lifetime. As a shelter volunteer, I have cared for many more animals, and have seen firsthand the special bond that exists between people and their pets. They enrich our lives, and are living examples of love, forgiveness, and pure joy. May you find solace in your wonderful family. Jude will live on in your hearts, and in the hearts of your readers. Thank you for sharing him with us. ❤️
Sally
Beautiful girls!
I know how much you love and miss Jude and share in your sorrow.
Take care!
Cathy
I’m so sorry about the loss of Jude. It’s heartbreaking and takes so long to come to terms with the absence of our pets. I’m so happy you have your girls to bring you happiness right now. They’re beautiful! Take care of yourself❤️
Congrats on sweet Elise! Seeing that beautiful photo of Noelle and Elise made my day. Oh and I’m so so sorry about Jude. What a big heart he had, I can’t imagine what it’s been for you guys.
Xoxox
Oh Sally, I know what you’re feeling. In my life I’ve had to put down 2 guide dogs; Sam in 1998 and my beloved Copper in 2014. They both had cancer. After Copper I went and got my Iris Joy, dog #6, 6 weeks later. Talk about feeling like I was 2 different people–mourning the loss of Copper, who I had for 10 years, and trying to fall in love with Iris Joy. But, I had to go back because every time I walked back to my condo with a white cane I was balling by the time I got to my front door. Copper and I had been through a lot too; death of both parents, nearly died myself in 2013, Graduate school, a move from MI to VA for my job as a Rehabilitation Teacher for the Blind, and so much more. Jesus is holding you in his arms, caring for you and your family, loving you and them, and, Jude is probably up there playing with Copper and Sam. Your family and you are so precious, I read your posts all of the time and love the way you write; have tried some of your recipes; a good friend really loves your Tripple Chocolate Cake. Since I’m working to reverse Diabetes just now, I’m unable to eat anything, (not even Keto things that I bake), not a complaint, just fact, but, some day I’ll be able to have some things in moderation. I’m praying that the Lord will let you see His hand in the little blessings of each day. And remember, that when sorrow rips a piece of your heart out, there’s just more room for love in that hole. Be encouraged and be good to yourself. With Thanksgiving for you, your family, (including Franklin), and your Jude and his life with you too. Love and Prayers, Pat