Hi! I’m currently taking time off from regular posting after having a baby this summer, but want to check in with a little update.
Sweet readers, I’m having a tough time right now.
Whether you’re (1) evacuating your home or have family/friends on the west coast during these devastating wildfires, (2) trying to find normalcy in a very not normal world, and/or (3) adjusting to children learning at home or back in school during this pandemic, this season of life feels very different. It certainly feels different for me. We welcomed our beautiful baby girl this past summer and are absolutely in love with her. From her big curious eyes down to her tiny little toes, she is honestly the sweetest. She’s such an easy baby, but maybe that’s because we have the experience under our belts. Our older daughter just loves her and wants to be around her all the time. We’re so blessed to have our health, home, and happy daughters.
My heart is just so full.
However, at the very same time, a piece of my heart feels like it’s missing.
Our beloved dog, Jude, passed away last month. Jude was diagnosed with cancer in August 2019 and fought it for a year. As pet owners know, pets are a very big part of the family. And Jude? He was my shadow. My sidekick. A true companion in every sense of the word. An irreplaceable part of this family. Wherever I was, he was. If dogs have souls, Jude has one of the biggest. Not only because he was enormous at 120 lbs, he just had a very big heart. He was the kind of dog who could sense how you were feeling. Laid with you while you were sick, sat with you while you cried, smiled at you (seriously!) when you were happy. For 12 beautiful years, Jude was our constant through it all: new homes, new jobs, cookbooks, our wedding, birthdays, book tour, miscarriage, pregnancies, babies, and all the other moments in between.
For anyone who thrives on routine, the loss of such a prominent part of your life feels impossible. Additionally, the transition from 1 to 2 children certainly has its difficulties. Pair all of this with postpartum recovery, postpartum emotions, sleepless newborn nights, and the isolation felt during this world pandemic and your emotional and mental stress feel like a mountain weighing on top of you. My husband, always looking on the bright side, reminds me of the silver linings we have. We’re so thankful our daughter got to meet Jude and that we even have a few pictures of him sitting beside her bassinet. And having activities and gatherings cancelled this summer has encouraged us to slow down. Maybe it’s the same for you too? We’re enjoying more time outdoors and savoring the present. And one last silver lining: While Franklin, our other dog, misses his big buddy, he’s certainly loving all the extra attention. He deserves it.
I mentioned this on social media and want to repeat it here. I know it might seem unseemly to grieve the loss of a dog when so many are losing their lives in the chaos of our world right now. But loss is loss and I’m feeling this one really hard. I recently experienced one of my best days and one of my worst. It’s been an absolute roller coaster of emotions and I’m still trying to work through it all.
I miss him so much. Jude was the happiest dog until those final few days.
I planned to post more recipes during my postpartum time off, but haven’t had the chance to clear my head and publish them all. I promise I’m trying my best to bring you fresh new recipes that I prepped while I was pregnant. Thank you for your patience with me and understanding that I need this time to be with my family.
On a brighter note, it’s Noelle’s 3rd birthday next week! I can’t believe my little girl is turning 3. No big parties this year, but we’re going to make the day as special as we can. She loves the Trolls World Tour movie and I plan to make her a special Queen Poppy cake. I’m terrible with fondant, so I’m thinking vanilla cake, rainbow frosting decoration, and a Trolls cake topper. Have you ever made a Trolls themed birthday cake before? I’m open to ideas!
We took a little vacation to Deep Creek Lake last week. It was a quiet and relaxing family getaway in one of our favorite spots. We just needed a change of scenery. If I’m being honest, sitting on the back deck with coffee and a view was all the medicine we needed. It was after Labor Day, so the lake wasn’t crowded. We lucked out with weather.
‘Tis the season for quick bread. We brought a loaf of the September Sally’s Baking Challenge recipe to the lake with us: cinnamon swirl quick bread. (There have been hundreds of participants so far this month!) This time I mixed 1 cup of chopped and peeled apples into the cinnamon sugar swirl mixture before layering it in. Same bake time. It tasted unbelievable– sort of like last week’s apple cinnamon babka but without a yeasted dough. I highly recommend it.
I was going to wait until the official start of fall, but couldn’t resist. Here’s my first loaf of pumpkin bread this season. I actually prefer it plain without the chocolate chips. I used whole wheat flour in this loaf and topped it with coarse sugar before baking. Same bake time. Always so moist and flavorful.
I want to lead by example not only for my daughters, but for my readers and followers too. In my last coffee break post, I shared my commitment to help break the unjust cycle of racism in our world and country. I hope we each yearn for a more loving and inclusive world and sometimes it’s hard to understand that in order for that to happen, we have to be the change… right now. Over the past couple months, I’ve thought a lot about the privilege I have simply because of the color of my skin. I found this article on Allure.com and while the entire piece is a great resource, the section titled “Reflect on all the ways you benefit from privilege” has been enlightening. (It links to a few more pieces and essays too.) I shared this on my Instagram account, but I joined Rachel Cargle’s eye-opening Do The Work course. It’s a free email course that provides comprehensive and concrete ways for being anti-racist. The emails also include links to articles, other resources, and videos. There is also The Conscious Kid organization. By joining, you have access to many resources for how to teach children (of any age) about anti-racism.
I’m still learning and growing in my own advocacy, but I hope to keep the momentum going that was seen earlier this summer. Racism has deep roots and as we continue to see it in the news every single day, it will not go away without the work.
Have you joined the sourdough bandwagon?
I just picked up a copy of New World Sourdough by Bryan Ford. I’m excited to finally learn more about from-scratch sourdough. I’ve always been intimidated by the entire process because the wealth of information online is overwhelming. However his book and comprehensive guide to sourdough (with FAQs) breaks things down into understandable steps. Super helpful if you’re a beginner like I am.
I also got Whole Grain Sourdough at Home. I haven’t had the chance to dive into it yet, but this book covers how to tackle sourdough using whole wheat flour and ancient grains. Recipes seem very easy to follow too.
I think that’s about it for now. Let’s end this post on a positive note though. No matter what we’re facing in this moment: loss, heartache, exhaustion, injustice, natural disaster, anxiety, change, and anything in between, I know that food can be healing. Baking has always lifted my spirits whether that’s receiving something homemade from a loved one, baking to ease my mind, or baking for someone who needs cheering up. It’s so much more than something sweet, it’s comforting for the mind and soul. Need proof? Last year I wrote a post called What Baking Means to You. The comments are beautiful.
Thank you for being here. xo
Congratulations and my condolences. There is a book called Full Catastrophe Living by a great mindfulness leader – you may be aware of it. The book is so aptly named as that is what life is – the love, the loss, the ups and downs, joys and pain. Not that I’m suggesting you take on a new read in your full life. I remember rocking our six week old first daughter in her bucket seat with my foot while holding our 12 year old black lab in our arms as she was being euthanized. She absolutely had been my little soul mate so I understand all the feels you are having right now – and add in some postpartum hormones to the mix! Wishing you all the best with all your transitions.
Sally, you certainly have hit all the emotions in these past few months. I’m sorry to hear of Jude’s passing. They are part of the family and it hurts to lose them. Congratulations on the birth of your daughter!! It truly is a blessing but it’s an adjustment – dealing with a newborn and a toddler. If I could go back and give myself, as a Mom, advice it would be this, Breathe! Enjoy the moment and don’t strive for perfection. The house will get cleaned, the dishes will get done, etc.. Just enjoy those two little humans. Take care!
Hi Sally,
I’m so sorry about Jude. Losing a furry family member leaves a big hole. Our dog, Buttons, passed earlier this year, and we miss him so much.
Sending hugs and all my best wishes to you and your family, through both grief and happiness.
In friendship and solidarity,
Natalie
May God comfort you and your family Sally! I’ll keep you and yours in my prayers!
Hi Sally, the section of your post on Jude nearly has me in tears! Your loss is just as real and valid as anyone else, so don’t feel like you need to downplay or think that you’re over-reacting. I am a dog lover and I know exactly how much of an impact they have on our lives. They are wonderful, beautiful creatures, and we are so fortunate to be able to share our homes with them. My dog, which is the first dog that I can really call mine, is still young, but I know the dreaded heart-breaking day will eventually come because their time this earth is far too short, and it is unbearable just thinking about it. I’m so sorry that you’re going through this amongst everything else, but know that it’s ok to not be ok right now. Be sure to give Franklin extra cuddles. Wishing you all the best.
Hi Sally,
You’re insight to the best and not great is honest and inspirational. Thank you for sharing your life with us along with your magnificent recipes. Prayers for your heart to have strength when need; health & love you have in abundance because you give it freely.
Thank you! Cathy
Sally,
I want to thank you for the contribution your blog has made to my life, especially these last months sheltering in place. The idea of comfort food has taken on a new meaning and your recipes have brought comfort to me and my family.
As for your sweet Jude, loss is loss. It does not need to be qualified or quantified. Even for those of us who have not really been effected by this pandemic, there is still loss. There is a loss of innocence, a sense of safety and well-being, a loss of community and a place to engage, connect and belong. You will carry Jude with you in your heart and while the girls may not remember him, they will come to treasure the stories you share about him.
The photo of you with your two girls is so beautiful and I see the love that comes through in your baking.
Blessings to you and yours.
Dearest Sally…I offer my congratulations for the birth of your little Elise! You truly re blessed with two beautiful daughters. At the same time I send my sincere condolences for the loss of Jude. He sounded so very special in every way! Don’t ever feel you need to explain your grief for him. Anyone who has ever loved and lost a dear pet knows how you feel. Years ago, a stray cat showed up on my porch and with time he began to trust me. He would actually hug me with his front paws wrapped around my neck. I loved “Timmy” with all my heart. Sadly, he died tragically but he left an indelible mark forever. With all the differing emotions you’re dealing with..be extra kind to yourself!
Take your time Sally. No rush. You’ve got plenty of recipes to keep us going for awhile! We’ll still be here when you’re ready.
Hi sally, so sorry to hear about Jude. My sympathy to you and your family as I know how he was such a part of your family. You and your website are so important to all as baking does bring happiness. Hang in there and take all the time you need. Your recipes are so delicious and that in itself spreads smiles to all. Want to make your pumpkin cupcakes but alas all the stores around me are experiencing a shortage on pumpkin purée . Thanks again for all your yummy recipes, Sandy.
Sally, I’m so, so sorry for your loss. Jude seemed like a wonderful sidekick and I do understand the depth of your heartbreak having lost a pet myself, Chester…my first cat. Baking is a wonderful way to work through things. I found that your recipes…trying different ones… helped me. Chester was my sidekick, in the kitchen and out. Knowing that he is no longer in pain and waiting and watching from Rainbow Bridge, fully restored, brings a smile to my face. That along with all the memories of our fun times.
Take the time you need to feel what you are going to feel and lean on your kids, your husband, and your other pet. They all feel your sadness and will be the sunshine you need on those sad days…that and your happy memories of Jude.
Your children are Beautiful.
Sorry on the loss of your furbaby, pets hold a special place in one’s heart.
Sending prayers for strength, courage, love, and joy to you and your beautiful family, Sally! May the hole in your heart heal with the support of family and friends.
Sally, I want to thank you for all that you do. I make your recipes so often that my husband now just references “Sally” like you’re one of our friends (whose recipes never fail).
My heart breaks for you. We are at month 14 of my dogs cancer treatment. She lost her best friend (our other dog) in February before the pandemic. She has been lost without him and suffers immense anxiety from his loss. I never realized how much she depended on him until he wasn’t there. Hang in there. Enjoy your beautiful family.
Such a well-written post for your readers; thank you for your candor. You are a very lovely person. Prayers to you all for strength and blessings to your family. Care for yourself without time limits, progressing at your pace. In time you will know when you’re ready to delve back to recipes for us but you come first. Peace.
So sorry about Jude, Sally. We just found out our black cat Sophie has feline leukemia so we’re feeling some of those emotions about wanting to do everything we can to keep an important member of our family well. You have a beautiful family ❤️
Sally, I’m so sorry for your loss of Jude. Pets have a way of wiggling into our hearts and teaching us about life -the triumphs and the challenges. All the best to you and your family – welcome to your new little one!
So sorry for the loss of Jude. Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful daughter. God bless you and your family.
Dear Sally,
The most important thing for you now is to take care of yourself and your family. Your loyal followers will be here for you! I’m so sad to hear about your dog. They really are our family members and the loss is so painful. This has been an unbelievably stressful year for our country (and the world) but we can get through it by spreading the good! Baking is my stress reliever-for me and the people I bake for!
Thank you for your uplifting words. They bring solace in this crazy, crazy time.
I have always enjoyed your blogs, cookbooks and learning the new recipes you share. Last summer, my husband sustained a life-altering injury, and during the first months that followed, whenever I got on the computer, there were a couple of food bloggers who always lifted my spirits ~ the ones who made me smile as soon as I saw their post. You were one of them (and I’m fairly certain you are friends with the other two, based on your photos with other foodies). None of us can ever fully appreciate the impact we may have on others’ lives, particularly when we don’t know them first-hand, but you have been such a positive influence. Thank you!
God bless you and your lovely family, and thank you for taking the time to provide the resources for us on privilege.
Thank you dear Sally! You bring us so much joy with your recipes. It is wonderful to know what a compassionate and kind person you are as well.
Thank you for your open, honest coffee break Sally. So many folks tend to sugar coat things and show only the “joys”, but not really show the highs and lows we all go through at times in life. I’m deeply sorry for the loss of your dear pup. I too am struggling with a similar aging fur kid, and it’s so challenging and overwhelming. You know they have aged considerably, are in pain, but yet you want to hold on as long as possible for them “just in case”…Yet, you have this new little bundle of joy + your toddler who is SO much fun at this age! I can’t imagine the roller coaster of emotions you must feel. This too shall pass, and do keep up the positive thoughts whenever possible. We’ve had beautiful weather here in PA this summer, so we are blessed there as well with good outside time. Many thoughts and prayers for you & your family! Thank you always for your wonderful posts.
PS: Very excited you are diving into Sourdough! I too have always been scared of it, but am excited we’ll be following your journey eventually with this one. Take care!
Sally, Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful baby girl. thank you also, for your beautifully written post and the honesty that you shared with your readers.
I am so sorry for the loss of Jude, we lost our dog 1 1/2 years ago and I still miss her terribly and think about her every day. Reading about Jude actually made me cry because I totally understand how you feel. Time will help, but your sweet dog will live in your heart forever.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and thank you for all the wonderful recipes you have given all of your readers.
Sally, I have always considered our family pets as our furry children. Reading that your beloved Jude has passed makes my heart hurt. I feel your loss. Thank you for sharing.
Thank you for sharing so much of your life with us. I was sad to hear about Jude. I can think of so many pictures and videos for recipes where Jude was somewhere in there…probably waiting to help clean up any goodies that might fall on the floor. ❤ Congratulations on your new baby girl. Take your time getting back in the swing of the things, we’ll be here.
Thank you for sharing a bit of your heart, Sally. I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your Jude, though I’m glad you’re finding comfort in spending time with your beautiful family. This year has been challenging in ways we never could have prepared ourselves to endure. I hope these comments help break through a bit of the isolation. I’m a nurse in an oncology hospital, which can be bleak work even without the current state of the world. I’ve always turned to baking as a way to bring some joy to myself and my coworkers (they light up when they see me coming with my favorite cookie tin or cake carrier!), and your blog is one of my favorite inspirations. Your instructions are so clear and I appreciate the gorgeous photos and helpful videos, which have made me a more confident baker. Please take care of yourself and know that your work is spreading happiness to so many!
Please take all the time you need to heal. You have so much going on right now that I know what I want is not nearly as important as what you need to do for yourself and your family. May God pour his blessings on you all.
Hi Sally, I truly enjoy your recipes, I am very sorry for your lose of Jude but you do have a beautiful little baby Girl, At times it dosen’t seem so but Children are very rewarding you are blessed with beautiful children.
Some dogs are just companions, but sometimes a very special dog will come along and it feels as though they are a part of your very soul. The loss of my own soul dog 2 years ago is still the most devastating loss I have experienced, and I believe will be the biggest in my life. I was lost in grief and fortunately able to join a pet loss grief group at the SPCA, wonderful group (https://www.spca.org/petgriefcounseling) that also does telephone calls. Many members suggested a new dog, but I was adamant that I would never go through that again. Just shy of a year after my Biscuit passed, I truly believe he led me to Sophie at the shelter. She looks just like him and she has helped my heart to heal. There is still a hole in my soul and always will be, but my heart is better. Take all the time you need, we understand your loss and are supporting you. xox